Rich Work

Someone extremely precious to my heart once called marriage, “rich work.” It is indeed. Marriage takes mature love, which does not come easy. Neither does a good garden.

The full benefits of this special garden do not suddenly appear, but are gradually realized and appreciated only after much labor and oversight. It takes both a watchful eye and a willing spirit to daily engage and not escape.

However, along the way are those rich moments of blessed awareness that, “this is the best place on earth” or “there is no place that I’d rather be right now, than right here.”

With soil beneath the nails and perhaps aching knees (not to mention, an aching back), with sweet and sweat co-mingled, and delighted sight matched with delicate scent, and finally with the sleepy sun setting as gentle reminder, comes the contented, concluding sigh of accomplishment: Love’s labor is worth it all – and its rich.

But, what do you do when marriage becomes “work” with no “rich”?

What if? What if your soul-mate for life appears to be faithfully plodding in the toil of the soil, with no apparent desire or ability to glean, as if “rich” is nowhere to be found? What then?

Marriage is to be a partnership, sharing in love’s labor, no matter how the garden grows; no matter how things turn out. In marriage WE is all we have, “‘til death do us part.” And, we have only US, “for better or for worse.”

It does little good to just focus on furrows that are straight and parallel; tending only to that which lies endlessly before. True, “there is much to be done, and the day is short,” but unless time is taken to ponder together; to take in and share as God’s gift of “our Now,” and to willfully reflect on the grace of “our Then,” how can “rich” ever be realized in the “work”?

Doesn’t fearful anticipation of “the next bad season” rob us of the season we are actually in? Isn’t “the cup half empty” truly worse than “the cup half full”? When weary weighs the heart, and striving becomes hopeless pursuit, is “waiting on the Lord” lost to us?

Passiveness does not yield Presence, yielding does. To release is to relinquish, not just “let go.” It also is to intentionally rest, not just stop. It is must completely cease, wait, and trust.

Otherwise, pain (physical, emotional, or spiritual) will daily persist in being the present partner. Disappointments will continually lap at the shoreline of the soul, as if to gradually lick it away. Discouragement will hover as a lingering fog, hindering insightful perspective. Obsessive thoughts of the mind will become confessing beliefs of the heart. Worry will come in wearing-waves, undermining vulnerable hope. Then, what was once meant to be beautiful, becomes only a hardened shell of itself—dry, empty, without life.

What can you do to help in the rediscovering of “rich” in this covenant of “work”? Prayerfully ask for: eyes that clearly see, a heart that truly feels, and a mind that deeply knows. Ask it from your First Love, the One who never has left your side since you first pledged those vows before Him in marriage—a promise that He Himself ordained.